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whitepajamas:

David Mitchell: Remember when they tried to market the cat to people who liked dogs? “Introducing: Cat! The new, compact, selfish dog! Do you love your dog, but hate the space it takes up, and its selfless devotion to you? Then you’ll love new Cat! It’s small, neat, and doesn’t care if you live or die! It’s Cat: the dog of tomorrow! And don’t miss our newest lines, coming soon! Panda: the penguin-y bear! Snake: the new streamlined lizard! And Gerbil: the kiwifruit that wakes up!”